Whether it’s a girl you know or someone you spot for the first time across a crowded room, flirting can be a lot of fun. However, it can also be excruciating If you don’t feel confident about what to do.
We’ve got 10 pieces of essential advice which will ensure that flirting with a female you fancy is simple.
#1: Smile!
Approaching someone you like can make you feel anxious, but it’s important to remember this isn’t a matter of life or death. Even if she turns you down, the worse that can happen is you’ll lose a few minutes out of your day. The worry about being rejected can translate to your facial expression, leaving you looking grim. Remember to relax your shoulders and smile; you’ll instantly seem more approachable and won’t look like you’re about to grill her for an interview!
#2: Use your sense of humour
Of course, physical appearance plays a part in attraction, but many women are aroused by a man with a sense of humour. You don’t need to have a repertoire of jokes ready to break out, but you do need to be willing to show your funny side. Forcing prepared “funny” lines in is almost as bad as having no sense of humour at all!
#3: Send her a message for no reason
Women love to know that you’re thinking of them. Flirting with a girl when you’re not together is all about showing them that they’re on your mind. This is easy to do by sending her a text or other message when there’s no practical need. It might be a jokey message or something that you’ve seen; anything to get in touch and say hi.
#4: Use light touches
The sense of touch is extremely powerful, and it’s an effective way to get a woman to really notice your presence. When done well, it’s the best way to flirt with a girl without making it seem too obvious.
When you’re in the middle of a conversation, lightly touch her arm between the elbow and wrist. The fleeting contact will be electrifying without seeming sleazy. Another excellent example is placing your hand lightly and briefly on the small of her back as you open a door. The gentlest of touches will feel very arousing to her, while still staying on safe ground.
#5: Be playful but don’t neg
We’ve already established that humour is a winner, so engaging in some playful teasing is a sure-fire way to flirt. It’s a way to keep her attention and sends a clear sign that she can’t fail to notice.
However, you’ll need to make sure you choose your subject carefully. The teasing should always be on a subject that doesn’t have the potential to be sensitive and must never cross the line into negging. For anyone unfamiliar with the term, negging is a way of seeming to give a girl a compliment while simultaneously insulting her. For example, “I don’t normally go for women who carry a lot of weight, but it looks good on you.”
#6: Use your body language
Women are creatures of communication and pick up on the language you use, even when it’s non-verbal. Although what you say will matter, what you don’t say is just as important. Be very aware of your body language and the message you are sending out. If you want to know how to subtly flirt with a girl; body language is the solution.
#7: Be complimentary – but not cheesy
Women love to receive compliments but don’t be tempted to cross over into cheesy one-liners. You might really think she is the most beautiful creature that has ever been created – but if you tell her that, it will sound insincere and phoney. Stick to compliments which are genuine, truthful and spoken from the heart. Most girls will be able to tell when you mean what you say and will be flattered by your candour.
#8: Act confidently – even if you don’t feel it
Have you heard the phrase ‘fake it ’til you make it’? It’s never applied more than when you’re flirting with a girl. Don’t overdo the confidence; that can be as much of a turn-off than a man who’s whimpering in the corner. However, women love a guy who exudes a sense of assurance, especially when accompanied by a self-deprecating sense of humour.
#9: Have fun with double entendres
Flirting should be fun, and that means making silly jokes. One thing that will ensure you stay firmly out of the friend zone is taking the opportunity to see innuendo in innocent comments in the conversation. When you try hard enough, you’ll spot all sorts of comments which could easily be warped to sound a bit rude; this can create the silliest but entertaining conversation that will have you both laughing together!
#10: Adjust Your Expectations
One of the reasons that it can feel so scary to flirt with a girl is because you have piled on the pressure. Give yourself a break and enjoy flirting without any expectation that anything will develop. When you allow yourself to chat with a beautiful woman without trying to force anything more, you soon realise that you can just relax and be yourself.
If the flirting develops and she decides to give you her number, then that’s great! But don’t approach every opportunity as a must-win encounter – sometimes it’s just fun to flirt and nothing more!
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